Truth – awakening hurts. It is painful and difficult. Finding truths as untruthful can push some people back to hiding their heads in the sand. Awakening yourself to truth means identifying and becoming aware that all the ‘truths’ you have been told all your life were falsehoods, untrue. Lies. Why were they told to you and why did you just blindly accept them?
Since you were in diapers, you have been spoon-fed what you were to believe, how you were supposed to act, what you were supposed to become, etc. Being too young to ask questions at the time, you swallowed each of those supposed truths and ate it up. We all did. The generation before us did. The dogma of supposed truth is passed through generations.
What those ‘truths’ were/are is one of most bitter pills I have had to swallow. What your ‘truths’ were/are is up to you to uncover. You are an adult and you can question. I will not share my ‘truths’ with you, but I will tell you it went all the way back to my earliest childhood memories and they were all lies; from what the idea of family meant to the dogma of organized religion and, yes, even the history of this country, how it works and how it lies.
Becoming awake is hard. Probably one of the hardest things you will ever do. It is painful. You will hurt. You will feel betrayed. You will be tough on yourself and everyone else. You may become cynical during this process. You may even go through periods of grief. But is it all worth it. It is ALL worth it.
If you do not meditate, you had better start now and use it as a time of reflection. You will realize that the solitude of meditation will be helpful to you. When you meditate, you become the observer – not an active participant. The more awake you become, the more you will realize that during meditation is the only time when you feel more yourself. The more you can distance yourself from all those falsehoods you were spoon fed, the stronger you will become. Remember this, too, this was done to you. You did not allow nor welcome it, it is just how it is. Since you are awakening now, do not place the blame on yourself. For me personally, this was a long and painful process.
Breathe. When you ‘come out the other side’, so to speak, things will still hurt. It will still be painful to watch, to hear, to read, to know. You may even disassociate yourself and keep a distance for a long while; perhaps for the rest of your life. The struggle is real, and for most of us, it’s a daily effort. If you are empathic, it will hurt that much more. You will not only feel your own pain but you will feel the pain of others.
There is no end goal here. Perhaps the process of becoming awake is the journey and the goal simultaneously.
When you now hear the cliche, ‘ignorance is bliss’ – you will totally get it. But once you learn a thing you cannot unlearn it. Once you have seen a thing, you cannot unsee it.
I will never paint a pretty picture for you of rainbows, sunshine and unicorns. Truth hurts. It is cold, unjust and becoming awake is only for those who can withstand that pain. But despite all that, you will learn who you actually are. You will come to know thyself. You will stop living your life wearing masks for others. You will stop trying to be what others see you as being. You may not recognize yourself in the mirror without all those labels you (and others) have put upon you. But you will not need to do anything for anyone but yourself. No, it is not selfish. It is self-compassion. It is self-care.
Know thyself. Live your authentic you and embrace your own truth. The world needs peace and compassion; not breads and circuses. The sense of peace you will find within yourself can never be taken away. It is yours. Unfortunately, you have to go through all the muck to get to this place, but you will get there. No one can do this for you. This is a journey you must take on your own. If you need a sounding board or to vent, however, I am here and a very good listener.
Wake up and be the authentic you. Not for anyone else but for yourself.