How to Think Your Way to Orgasm with Erotic Hypnosis

Wait, what?
Hypnosis may make you think of swinging pendulums or oscillating swirls. But rippling orgasms?

Well, that’s the whole point of erotic hypnosis — which, yup (!) is a thing.

“Erotic hypnosis entails using hypnosis to enhance sensuality, sexual response, feelings, and sensations without necessarily needing to be touched,” explains Kaz Riley, a kink-friendly clinical hypnotherapist who specializes in working with folks experiencing sexual dysfunction.

According to Riley, it can be used for many things, such as:

  • to enhance connection during lovemaking
  • as a tool during a BDSM scene
  • to intensify orgasms
  • to help someone overcome sexual shame, trauma, or dysfunction
  • “It’s a powerful tool for exploring your sexual and erotic self,” says Jon S., an erotic hypnotist who has practiced for over 20 years.

    Is that actually legit?
    “It most definitely is,” says Riley.

    In case you were wondering: “Yes, anyone could have an orgasm through erotic hypnosis, provided they felt safe enough to do so.”

    But, she says, erotic hypnosis — like any kind of sexual activity — is about way more than orgasm. It’s about pleasure, connection, and relaxation.

    How does it work?
    Like any kind of hypnosis, erotic hypnosis involves guiding someone into an extreme state of relaxation, where your inhibitions are lower.

    Jon S. says it’s similar to the state you’re in right before you fall asleep.

    “You’re extraordinarily relaxed, your conscious mind is somewhat subdued, and you can have a conversation, but you’re more susceptible or vulnerable than normal.”

    “Hypnosis doesn’t mean that you have no inhibition, it means you have less inhibitions,” says Riley. “It can make you more susceptible, but it doesn’t take away your morals or ethics.”

    What makes erotic hypnosis, well, erotic? It could be any number of things, depending on:

  • the context or setting the hypnotism is taking place (for instance, in a BDSM scene)
  • the “goal” of the hypnotism (for instance, to orgasm or train someone to orgasm on command)
  • who the hypnotist is (for instance, a Dominatrix you hired to hypnotize you, or your partner)
  • “There are a ton of different ways an erotic hypnosis session could go. It all depends on what the subject wants to get out of it,” says Natasha Strange, a professional Dominatrix who offers erotic hypnosis and proprietrix of Sub Rosa PDX, a boutique fetish space in Portland, Oregon.

    Generally speaking, a session will begin with a conversation (or negotiation) about goals, boundaries, and safe words.

    Then, the hypnotist will help you get into a relaxed state using something called “the induction of hypnosis.”

    “This can be done in a number of different ways, but this is generally done with voice,” says Riley.

    Once you’re in that state, any number of things could take place based on what was previously agreed on.

    “This could include touch or not,” adds Riley.

    How is it different from listening to audio porn or erotic ASMR?
    Many, many things.

    “ASMR, audio porn, and erotic hypnosis are three completely different entities,” says Riley.

    “Erotic hypnosis and AMSR can both help you experience physical sensations via voice and sound.”

    During erotic hypnosis, you enter a much deeper state of relaxation (aka a hypnotic state) than you do listening to ASMR.

    “Audio porn is an external stimulation that helps people become aroused,” explains Riley. “While erotic hypnosis helps people tap into an internal sensation that allows them to achieve arousal.”

    Can you do it online, or is an IRL connection key?
    According to Riley, “It can be done in real life, or remotely.”

    There are pros and cons to each approach.

    While expert-led audio guides on the internet may feel safer — because you can do them right from the comfort of your own home — finding an online hypnotist that you like can be tricky.

    As Strange says, “There are a lot of underwhelming tutorials and videos on the internet.”

    Finding an actual person to hypnotize you IRL will require a little hunting, too.

    A simple Google search will bring up a hundred of folks claiming to be erotic hypnotists. But, “don’t just ‘go out’ with the first person you come across,” says Jon S.

    “Treat it like online dating: Ask them questions, see if you vibe with and could trust them,” he says.

    “Don’t do anything with an erotic hypnotist who tries to rush you or who seems impatient with the get-to-know-you process.”

    Riley adds: “Anybody who doesn’t want to know what your limits or wishes or safe words are isn’t a professional you want to be engaging with.”

    You might seek out a clinical hypnotist like Riley. Or, you might hire a Dominatrix like Strange. Or, you might invite someone who you’ve heard good things about via word of mouth to hypnotize you.

    How do you get started?
    Good news: It’s as easy as deciding that you want to start.

    Experiment with regular hypnosis
    Before you explore erotic hypnosis, Jon S. says it’s a good idea to make sure you enjoy non-erotic hypnosis.

    “Go to YouTube, look up ‘hypnosis videos,’ and then give one a try,” he says.

    This is a good opportunity to find out how susceptible you are to hypnosis — aka how easily you enter a trance state.

    Figure out your W-H-Y
    Are you interested in erotic hypnosis because you have difficulty reaching orgasm?

    Because the idea of mentally submitting to someone makes you drool with anticipation?

    Or for some other reason?

    You need to know your why to figure out what hypnotist to work with, and what type of “experience” you ask them for.

    Find a hypnotist
    If it’s to work through sexual shame, trauma, or dysfunction, you’ll probably want to work with a sex-positive clinical hypnotherapist.

    If you want to explore the kinky side of erotic hypnosis, you might hire a Dominatrix, peruse FetLife, or ask around your local BDSM community to find a Dom(me) who specializes in hypnosis.

    If you want to explore hypnosis with your current sexual partner(s), you might hire a Dominatrix or sex-positive clinical hypnotherapist together.

    You may try to find someone online who you both jive with. Or, you might watch online videos together.

    If you’re just generally interested in erotic hypnosis, using a pre-recorded audio clip or video can work.

    If you find their voice annoying or think they’re a hoax, it’s unlikely that they’ll help you enter a trance state. Riley says reading reviews on the video before watching can be helpful.

    Talk with the hypnotist
    “Safety and consent are paramount,” says Riley, adding that this is why a conversation is so important.

    This conversation should go over:

  • any medical conditions that could affect the session
  • any sexual trauma you have experienced that could affect the session
  • any trigger words you have
  • what the objective of the session is
  • whether touch is allowed or will be useful
  • Ask them to program in a safe word
    “The hypnotist will need to implement the safe word into the programming,” explains Jon S.

    The hypnotist may say something like, “If at any point in this hypnosis there’s any part of your mind that doesn’t like what’s happening, say ‘STOP.’”

    This will help you feel safer, and therefore be able to relax more deeply into the hypnosis.

    Try it
    Know this: It may work — but it may not!

    Getting from point A to point erotic-hypnosis-induced-O may take time. How much time varies from person to person.

    Reflect
    You’ll be able to remember everything that happens while you’re “under.” So, go ahead and spend some time remembering what it was like, how you felt, and what took place.

    What if it doesn’t work?
    It might not the first time! “Nothing is 100 percent guaranteed,” says Riley.

    Not trusting the hypnotist and being skeptical of the process or of hypnosis overall can make being hypnotized trickier. So can simply just being new to hypnotism!

    Implement a mindfulness practice
    “For most people, it’s not necessary to have a meditation or mindfulness practice ahead of time, but for folks that are having a hard time entering a trance state, it can be helpful,” says Jon S.

    You might try:

  • using the Headspace mindfulness app
  • practicing yoga
  • exploring intentional breathing
  • Figure out if it was the hypnotist or you
    If the issue is that you don’t trust the hypnotist, get a new one.

    Try it again
    “Hypnosis is a learned process, so you’ll have to commit to the learning,” says Riley.

    “It’s not a right here, right now kind of thing. Practice makes perfect.”

    What if you want to do it to someone else?
    If you want to erotically hypnotize someone else, the most important thing for you to know is that this isn’t something you can just jump into!

    “If the hypnotist doesn’t know what they’re doing, it’s not a good idea,” says Jon S.

    “If you want to erotically hypnotize someone else, you need to have done your research.”

    Learn more about hypnosis
    “To learn how to erotically hypnotize somebody, you have to learn how to hypnotize somebody. And it’s actually quite easy to do this, once you commit,” says Riley.

    Online courses, YouTube videos, and hiring a hypnosis instructor can help.

    Next, learn more about erotic hypnosis
    Strange learned about erotic hypnosis by hiring another Dominatrix who practices erotic hypnosis and asking them to teach her. You might try that.

    You might become a clinical hypnotist with a specialty in sexual health.

    Or, you may just consume as many books, videos, and articles about erotic hypnosis as you can.

    Try it, but talk to your partner first
    “Once you have a partner who’s interested in trying it with you, you should try it,” says Riley.

    Here’s what you need to know first:

  • What are their boundaries? What are yours?
  • Will you be using a safe word?
  • What are their triggers?
  • What do they want to experience?
  • What will the safe word be?
  • Just remember: It isn’t about you
    “It’s not about your needs, wants, and desires, it’s about your subject’s needs, wants, and desires,” says Riley.

    Is there anything you can do to enhance the experience?
    Let’s say it for the umpteenth time: There’s no limit to what erotic hypnosis can include.

    After getting the hang of touch-free erotic hypnosis — and as long as both you and the hypnotist are enthusiastically interested — you might try:

  • using sex toys
  • having oral sex
  • bringing in bondage
  • exploring multiple orgasms
  • Where can you learn more?
    Got more Qs? “Mastering Erotic Hypnosis: A Comprehensive Manual for Erotic Play, Fetish, and Kink” by James Gordon and Rebecca Doll and “Mind Play: A Guide To Erotic Hypnosis” by Mark Wiseman are both great resources.

    Gabrielle Kassel is a New York–based sex and wellness writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. She’s become a morning person, tested over 200 vibrators, and eaten, drunk, and brushed with charcoal — all in the name of journalism. In her free time, she can be found reading self-help books and romance novels, bench-pressing, or pole dancing. Follow her on Instagram.

    Last medically reviewed on May 27, 2020
    Medically reviewed by Jennifer Litner, LMFT, CST — Written by Gabrielle Kassel on May 27, 2020

    Hypnosis is a genuine psychological therapy process. It’s often misunderstood and not widely used. However, medical research continues to clarify how and when hypnosis can be used as a therapy tool.

    What exactly is hypnosis?
    Hypnosis is a treatment option that may help you cope with and treat different conditions.

    To do this, a certified hypnotist or hypnotherapist guides you into a deep state of relaxation (sometimes described as a trance-like state). While you’re in this state, they can make suggestions designed to help you become more open to change or therapeutic improvement.

    Trance-like experiences aren’t all that uncommon. If you’ve ever zoned out while watching a movie or daydreaming, you’ve been in a similar trance-like state.

    True hypnosis or hypnotherapy doesn’t involve swaying pocket watches, and it isn’t practiced on stage as part of an entertainment act.

    Is hypnosis the same thing as hypnotherapy?
    Yes and no. Hypnosis is a tool that can be used for therapeutic treatment. Hypnotherapy is the use of that tool. To put it another way, hypnosis is to hypnotherapy what dogs are to animal therapy.

    How does hypnosis work?
    During hypnosis, a trained hypnotist or hypnotherapist induces a state of intense concentration or focused attention. This is a guided process with verbal cues and repetition.

    The trance-like state you enter may appear similar to sleep in many ways, but you’re fully aware of what’s going on.

    While you’re in this trance-like state, your therapist will make guided suggestions designed to help you achieve your therapeutic goals.

    Because you’re in a heightened state of focus, you may be more open to proposals or advice that, in your normal mental state, you might ignore or brush off.

    When the session is complete, your therapist will wake you from the trance-like state, or you will exit it on your own.

    It’s unclear how this intense level of inner concentration and focused attention has the impact it does.

    Hypnotherapy may place the seeds of different thoughts in your mind during the trance-like state, and soon, those changes take root and prosper.
    Hypnotherapy may also clear the way for deeper processing and acceptance. In your regular mental state, if it’s “cluttered,” your mind may be unable to absorb suggestions and guidance,
    What happens to the brain during hypnosis?
    Researchers at Harvard studied the brains of 57 people during guided hypnosis. They found that:

    Two areas of the brain that are responsible for processing and controlling what’s going on in your body show greater activity during hypnosis.
    Likewise, the area of your brain that’s responsible for your actions and the area that is aware of those actions appear to be disconnected during hypnosis.

    TAKEAWAY
    Distinct sections of the brain are visibly altered during hypnosis. The areas that are most affected are those that play a role in action control and awareness.

    Is it all just a placebo effect?
    It’s possible, but hypnosis shows marked differences in brain activity. This suggests the brain reacts to hypnosis in a unique way, one that’s stronger than a placebo effect.

    Like hypnosis, the placebo effect is driven by suggestion. Guided conversations or behavioral therapy of any type can have a powerful impact on behavior and feelings. Hypnosis is just one of those therapy tools.

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    Are there any side effects or risks?
    Hypnosis rarely causes any side effects or has risks. As long as the therapy is conducted by a trained hypnotist or hypnotherapist, it can be a safe alternative therapy option.

    Some people may experience mild-to-moderate side effects including:

  • headache
  • drowsiness
  • dizziness
  • situational anxiety
  • However, hypnosis used for memory retrieval is a controversial practice. People who use hypnosis in this way are more likely to experience anxiety, distress, and other side effects. You may also be more likely to create false memories.

    Is the practice recommended by doctors?
    Some doctors aren’t convinced that hypnosis can be used in mental health or for physical pain treatment. Research to support the use of hypnosis is getting stronger, but not all doctors embrace it.

    Many medical schools don’t train doctors on the use of hypnosis, and not all mental health practitioners receive training during their years of school.

    That leaves a great deal of misunderstanding about this possible therapy among healthcare professionals.

    What can hypnosis be used for?
    Hypnosis is promoted as a treatment for many conditions or issues. Research does provide some support for using hypnosis for some, but not all, of the conditions for which it’s used.

    ResearchTrusted Source shows strong evidenceTrusted Source for the use of hypnosis to treat:

  • pain
  • irritable bowel syndrome
  • post-traumatic stress disorder
  • insomnia
  • Limited evidenceTrusted Source suggests hypnosis may be used to treatTrusted Source:

  • depression
  • anxiety
  • smoking cessation
  • post-surgical wound healing
  • weight loss
  • More research is needed to verify the impact of hypnosis on the treatment of these and other conditions.

    What happens during a session?
    You may not undergo hypnosis during your first visit with a hypnotist or hypnotherapist. Instead, the two of you may talk about the goals you have and the process they can use to help you.

    In a hypnosis session, your therapist will help you relax in a comfortable setting. They’ll explain the process and review your goals for the session. Then, they’ll use repetitive verbal cues to guide you into the trance-like state.

    Once you’re in a receptive trance-like state, your therapist will suggest you work to achieve certain goals, help you visualize your future, and guide you toward making healthier decisions.

    Afterward, your therapist will end your trance-like state by bringing you back to full consciousness.

    Is one session enough?
    Although one session can be helpful for some people, most therapists will tell you to begin hypnosis therapy with four to five sessions. After that phase, you can discuss how many more sessions are needed. You can also talk about whether any maintenance sessions are needed as well.

    Fact vs. fiction: Busting 6 popular myths
    Although hypnosis is slowly becoming more accepted in traditional medical practices, many myths about hypnosis persist. Here, we separate reality from falsehoods.

    Myth: Everyone can be hypnotized
    Not everyone can be hypnotized. One study suggests that about 10 percent of the population is highly hypnotizable. Although it’s possible that the rest of the population could be hypnotized, they’re less likely to be receptive to the practice.

    Myth: People aren’t in control of their body when they’re hypnotized
    You’re absolutely in control of your body during hypnosis. Despite what you see with stage hypnosis, you’ll remain aware of what you’re doing and what’s being asked of you. If you don’t want to do something you’re asked to do under hypnosis, you won’t do it.

    Myth: Hypnosis is the same thing as sleep
    You may look like you’re sleeping, but you’re awake during hypnosis. You’re just in a deeply relaxed state. Your muscles will become limp, your breathing rate will slow, and you may become drowsy.

    Myth: People can’t lie when they’re hypnotized
    Hypnotism isn’t a truth serum. Although you’re more open to suggestion during hypnotism, you still have free will and moral judgment. No one can make you say anything — lie or not — that you don’t want to say.

    Myth: You can be hypnotized over the internet
    Many smartphone apps and Internet videos promote self-hypnosis, but they’re likely ineffective.

    Researchers in one 2013 reviewTrusted Source found that these tools typically aren’t created by a certified hypnotist or hypnosis organization. For that reason, doctors and hypnotists advise against using these.

    Probably a myth: Hypnosis can help you “uncover” lost memories
    Although it may be possible to retrieve memories during hypnosis, you may be more likely to create false memories while in a trance-like state. Because of this, many hypnotists remain skeptical about using hypnosis for memory retrieval.

    The bottom line
    Hypnosis carries the stereotypes of stage performances, complete with clucking chickens and daring dancers.

    However, hypnosis is a genuine therapeutic tool, and it can be used as an alternative medical treatment for several conditions. This includes insomnia, depression, and pain management.

    It’s important that you use a certified hypnotist or hypnotherapist so that you can trust the guided-hypnosis process. They will create a structured plan to help you reach your individual goals.

    Last medically reviewed on May 17, 2018
    Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, Ph.D., CRNP — Written by Kimberly Holland — Updated on May 17, 2018

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